by Admin
No shortage of truly terrible boat names
Aug 25 2009 in On the Rocks by Admin
Since we soon have to settle on a name for the boat we’re buying, we’ve become obsessed with boat names lately. We’ve discovered that there are an inordinate number of terrible monikers out there. Appalling puns, sexist jokes and Beavis and Butt-Head level humor abound.
How about Orr Gasm? Or All Gulls No Buoys? Prince Jefri of Brunei, proof that money has no relation to taste, reportedly once had an 180-foot yacht named Tits, with tenders named Nipple 1 and Nipple 2. Classy guy, that prince.
If those don’t prompt an eye roll, here are a few more winners I came across reading various online forums:
Well Hung
Da Boat
As Souls Dream
Wet Dream
Piece O Ship
Sea Ducer
@boat.calm
PMS Retreat
Hot Ruddered Bum
Biopsea
Sexual Heeling
Bow Movement
Ship Happens
Makin’ Luff
Sir Osis of the River
For more bad examples, the blog Messing About in Boats has put together a list of stupid boat names by category (Financial, Medical, Aquamorons, Clever, etc.). The list includes Slipless in Seattle, which seems marginally clever. A thread on the Florida Sportsman forum has names that are just too moronic and offensive to list here. It’s truly horrifying and makes me never want to sail in Florida, not that I ever really wanted to.
So with all the terrible boat names out there, I appreciated the one I saw last week in Edmonds. It was a sailboat named Sound Transit—a nice double entendre and appropriately descriptive for a boat sailing in this area, don’t you think?
A boat name should be chosen with the idea you’ll be calling the Coast Guard on VHF 16 for help, with the whole world listening in. The name should be easy to understand the first time so the Coast Guard can get on with helping you. It shouldn’t be so clever that it’s confusing. And it shouldn’t sound like a 12-year-old’s bad joke.
But then you already have a name ” Obsession”
ok try these
kiss my aft
chicken ship
Two of my favorites have been
Nauti Lady
Think or Thwim
Wow. Those are truly horrible.
After suffering through bad names from boats my father purchased – he finally designed and built a boat and thus had the opportunity to name it.
He just took my mom’s first and middle to come up with “Cornelia Marie”. So Marty, try “Deborah B”, “Miss Deborah” or “Lady Deborah”
Marty suggested “Princess Deborah.” Think he’s trying to tell me something?